Cynthia's Story

Cynthia is a breast cancer survivor. She told us how she would go to the hospital for her chemo treatments, sit there, and look at the “Cancer … Beat It!” poster hanging on the wall. She would say to herself, “Damn it!! I have two kids, and one is only six years old. I’m going to beat it!”. She is the mother of two children, ages 15 and 6 and is married to James. She was diagnosed in November of 2005 and finished her treatment August of 2006. She is currently a financial planner with a major international financial services firm and lives in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

This is a story she shared with us, in her own words. A story of courage, strength, and determination.

I was under treatment for breast cancer and was in the process of chemotherapy. I had no hair, wore a wig to the office, however, I would remove it once I was in the car, etc. It was uncomfortable and hot. We were making a “big girl’s” room for Loren, and I had been to every store this particular day looking for the right items to make a girl’s Super Heroes bedroom.

Wal-Mart is not a favorite store of mine - for many reasons. I grew up with Wal-Mart and that was the highlight of our life - to get to drive the hour to the Wal-Mart, and I always hated how pathetic we were at the time to be so excited about this store. So, that day, Wal-Mart was our second stop, and much to our surprise, they had a pink Super Heroes Girl’s bedspread and canopy. We bought only the bedspread, and raced home to finish our creation of her room.

James took the children out, and I was finishing Loren’s room. I was exhausted, however, determined to finish this project, as I longed to see the delight in her eyes. I really wanted that canopy and was sorry I had not bought it earlier. So I jumped in the car and ran to Wal-Mart.

Next thing I knew, I was in the middle of Super Wal-Mart, thousands of square feet of merchandise and people, purchasing anything from milk to lingerie to motor oil. And much to my shock, I realized I was in the midst of this chaos with no hair. No wig. No hat. Nothing. Bald as could be. Naked in Wal-Mart. I froze. I had never been in such a situation before. What was I going to do?? How horrifying is this? To be humiliated and embarrassed in a place that I am embarrassed to be in the first place!!! Why??

I then took a breath and realized I had choices. I could go home and get a hat, however, I knew I would never make it back due to my energy level. I could buy a hat, however, let’s be honest. It was Wal-Mart! If by chance they had a hat I liked, which is unlikely, I would have to carry it up to the cashier, as I did not need the extra humiliation of being accused of shop lifting, and I would never wear that hat again because the ending of the price tag would scream .97- a Wal-Mart true trait. Or, I concluded, I have one final choice. I could say, “F*** it”, put on a great big confident smile, look every man in the eye and let him know, “I know exactly how you feel…” and look in the eyes of all the women and send them the message of “Don’t you wish you were me??...” That is the option that I chose. I got the canopy, made it back home and slept the rest of the day with a smile.

Since then, my hair has grown back in, and I have had it cut more than I did before I got sick. In fact, I like it as short as possible. Why? It is a constant reminder to myself of what I can do. It is also a constant reminder that “life is a state of mind…” (from the old Peter Seller’s classic performance in “Being There"). I wear this short hair and a huge smile, and people – random people - men, women, people I would have never connected with, stop me and say how beautiful I am and how beautiful my hair is! How confident I am to wear it so short! How they never could! I just smile, graciously thank them and say to them, “you would be surprised as to just what you can do…”